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Post  dave d January 19th 2012, 9:48 am





Two buddies, Darrel and Tommy, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Tommy throws up all over himself.

'Oh, no.... Now my wife will kill me!'

Darrel says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Tommy stumbles home and his wife, Nancy, starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'

Speaking very carefully so as to not slur his words, Tommy says, Noww wa inaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got sick on me -- he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said he's was berry sorry an' gave me twenties bucks for the cleaning bill!'

Nancy looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks.'

'Oh, yeah, I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.'
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Post  bigblockfox468 January 19th 2012, 9:59 am

Laughing Laughing Laughing thats a good one Exclamation
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Post  56Tbird January 19th 2012, 10:21 am

dave d wrote:



Two buddies, Dan and Rick, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Rick throws up all over himself.

'Oh, no.... Now my wife will kill me!'

Dan says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Rick stumbles home and his wife, Sooz, starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'

Speaking very carefully so as to not slur his words, Rick says, Noww wa inaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got sick on me -- he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said he's was berry sorry an' gave me twenties bucks for the cleaning bill!'

Sooz looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks.'

'Oh, yeah, I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.'
There , I fisked it fer ya drunken
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Post  GT300TD January 19th 2012, 11:00 am



Very funny, a good clean joke Rolling Eyes


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Post  bruno January 19th 2012, 11:32 am

hilarious !!!!

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Post  56Tbird January 19th 2012, 12:47 pm

Kinda reminds me of another one......Rick goes out one night and gets drunk and ends up in bed with a chick from a bar...He awakes at 4am and starts crying,the chick says what's wrong? He says ,Sooz is gonna kill me..I don't know what to do?? The chick puts baby powder all over his hands and says ...Go home and tell her the Truth..Rick says ,I can't tell her the Truth, she'll kill me!! The chick says trust me ,I know how women think!! So..Ole Rick goes home and Sooz meets him at the door, she's pissed ,and says Just Where the Hell have you been until 4 in the morning....Rick ,says..well honey I went out drinkin and ended up spending the night with a Chick from the bar....Sooz looks at him and sees his hands ,and starts in on him..she says ...You Lying Bastard!! Look at your hands..You've been out Bowling with guys again!!! cheers lol!
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Post  Lem Evans January 19th 2012, 12:54 pm

Laughing

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Post  bbf-falcon January 19th 2012, 1:11 pm

Can't tell Dan anything.He tells it all affraid Laughing Laughing
There's no honor among drunks anymore drunken

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Post  dave d January 19th 2012, 2:27 pm

What are FRIENDS for Laughing Laughing
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Post  GT300TD January 19th 2012, 4:07 pm



Twisted Evil Suspect Laughing

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Post  56Tbird January 19th 2012, 6:37 pm

dave d wrote:What are FRIENDS for Laughing Laughing
Hiding stuff in your jacket pockets...what else???
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Post  bbf-falcon January 19th 2012, 7:03 pm

56Tbird wrote:
dave d wrote:What are FRIENDS for Laughing Laughing
Hiding stuff in your jacket pockets...what else???

Don't blame me and Harold for YOUR criminal intentions. Embarassed Shocked Suspect

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Post  342g January 19th 2012, 7:07 pm

I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket. Evil or Very Mad
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Post  bbf-falcon January 19th 2012, 7:11 pm

342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket. Evil or Very Mad

We all know he likes buttering rolls. Razz

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Post  56Tbird January 19th 2012, 9:25 pm

342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket. Evil or Very Mad
I was gonna roll it around in my underwear and give it to Rick Rolling Eyes
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Post  QtrWarrior January 19th 2012, 9:36 pm

bbf-falcon wrote:
342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket. Evil or Very Mad

We all know he likes buttering rolls. Razz

So what you're saying is...Dan likes his buns buttered ???
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Post  schmitty January 19th 2012, 10:50 pm

QtrWarrior wrote:
bbf-falcon wrote:
342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket. Evil or Very Mad

We all know he likes buttering rolls. Razz

So what you're saying is...Dan likes his buns buttered ???

That's kind of the way I got it too Suspect
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Post  bbf-falcon January 20th 2012, 12:13 am

Thats just the way Dano rolls. Embarassed Razz

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Post  billandlori January 20th 2012, 3:33 pm

Waaaaaaaay too much info....... Laughing

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