drinking
+7
bbf-falcon
Lem Evans
bruno
GT300TD
56Tbird
bigblockfox468
dave d
11 posters
Page 1 of 1
drinking
Two buddies, Darrel and Tommy, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Tommy throws up all over himself.
'Oh, no.... Now my wife will kill me!'
Darrel says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually Tommy stumbles home and his wife, Nancy, starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'
Speaking very carefully so as to not slur his words, Tommy says, Noww wa inaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got sick on me -- he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said he's was berry sorry an' gave me twenties bucks for the cleaning bill!'
Nancy looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks.'
'Oh, yeah, I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.'
dave d- Posts : 809
Join date : 2009-12-22
Age : 65
Location : nwohio
Re: drinking
thats a good one
bigblockfox468- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 1432
Join date : 2009-02-09
Age : 101
Location : Dryden, MI
Re: drinking
There , I fisked it fer yadave d wrote:
Two buddies, Dan and Rick, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Rick throws up all over himself.
'Oh, no.... Now my wife will kill me!'
Dan says, 'Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.'
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually Rick stumbles home and his wife, Sooz, starts to give him a bad time. 'You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!'
Speaking very carefully so as to not slur his words, Rick says, Noww wa inaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got sick on me -- he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor He said he's was berry sorry an' gave me twenties bucks for the cleaning bill!'
Sooz looks in the breast pocket and says, 'But this is forty bucks.'
'Oh, yeah, I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.'
56Tbird- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 5260
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 65
Location : Hawesville,Ky.
Re: drinking
Very funny, a good clean joke
GT300TD- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
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Join date : 2009-12-11
Age : 76
Location : Lancaster, Ohio
Re: drinking
hilarious !!!!
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Re: drinking
Kinda reminds me of another one......Rick goes out one night and gets drunk and ends up in bed with a chick from a bar...He awakes at 4am and starts crying,the chick says what's wrong? He says ,Sooz is gonna kill me..I don't know what to do?? The chick puts baby powder all over his hands and says ...Go home and tell her the Truth..Rick says ,I can't tell her the Truth, she'll kill me!! The chick says trust me ,I know how women think!! So..Ole Rick goes home and Sooz meets him at the door, she's pissed ,and says Just Where the Hell have you been until 4 in the morning....Rick ,says..well honey I went out drinkin and ended up spending the night with a Chick from the bar....Sooz looks at him and sees his hands ,and starts in on him..she says ...You Lying Bastard!! Look at your hands..You've been out Bowling with guys again!!!
56Tbird- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 5260
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 65
Location : Hawesville,Ky.
Re: drinking
Can't tell Dan anything.He tells it all
There's no honor among drunks anymore
There's no honor among drunks anymore
bbf-falcon- Posts : 8995
Join date : 2008-12-03
Location : Jackson, Ohio
GT300TD- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 631
Join date : 2009-12-11
Age : 76
Location : Lancaster, Ohio
Re: drinking
Hiding stuff in your jacket pockets...what else???dave d wrote:What are FRIENDS for
56Tbird- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 5260
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 65
Location : Hawesville,Ky.
Re: drinking
56Tbird wrote:Hiding stuff in your jacket pockets...what else???dave d wrote:What are FRIENDS for
Don't blame me and Harold for YOUR criminal intentions.
bbf-falcon- Posts : 8995
Join date : 2008-12-03
Location : Jackson, Ohio
Re: drinking
I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket.
342g- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 3237
Join date : 2009-08-06
Age : 81
Location : Lawrenceburg, In.
Re: drinking
342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket.
We all know he likes buttering rolls.
bbf-falcon- Posts : 8995
Join date : 2008-12-03
Location : Jackson, Ohio
Re: drinking
I was gonna roll it around in my underwear and give it to Rick342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket.
56Tbird- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 5260
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 65
Location : Hawesville,Ky.
Re: drinking
bbf-falcon wrote:342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket.
We all know he likes buttering rolls.
So what you're saying is...Dan likes his buns buttered ???
QtrWarrior- Posts : 2702
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 65
Location : Bloomingdale, Ga
Re: drinking
QtrWarrior wrote:bbf-falcon wrote:342g wrote:I don't know why he had that buttered roll in his pocket.
We all know he likes buttering rolls.
So what you're saying is...Dan likes his buns buttered ???
That's kind of the way I got it too
schmitty- Posts : 4538
Join date : 2008-12-02
Age : 54
Location : Holdrege, NE
Re: drinking
Thats just the way Dano rolls.
bbf-falcon- Posts : 8995
Join date : 2008-12-03
Location : Jackson, Ohio
Re: drinking
Waaaaaaaay too much info.......
Bill
Bill
billandlori- Posts : 2081
Join date : 2009-08-06
Age : 55
Location : Stratford, Ontario, Canada
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