Damn fine explanation

jasonf February 22nd 2010, 4:54 pm

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was somewhat upset.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.. I want a divorce right away!"

Her husband replied, "Hang on just a minute love, at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

So her husband began "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

Feeling sorry for her I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she smelled and was dirty I suggested she take a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I gave her those boots you bought at the expensive boutique but won't wear because someone at work has the same pair.

The husband took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"