Drafting men over 60

----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward muslim terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women over 50 ....in menopause! You think Men have attitudes! Ohhhhhh my God!
If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They'll have it secured the first night! (and we won't have to hear "Press 1 for English" anymore).

Heck ya.

Nice....

Although this seems to be meant as a "funny thing"... I have to agree you with you! I had NO idea what I was in for when I joined the army a few years back. Sadly, neither did many of the other young men/women who where with me down at "Ft. Lostinthewoods". We had quite a few suicides and had to be a good 5+ attempted suicides a week. Recruiters are just scum of the earth in my opinion, they completely misrepresent EVERYTHING the Army is. I always thought great things about our armed forces but after my time in the Army, I would do everything possible to keep a loved one or even just a friend from joining.

SLOWnSTEADY wrote:Although this seems to be meant as a "funny thing"... I have to agree you with you! I had NO idea what I was in for when I joined the army a few years back. Sadly, neither did many of the other young men/women who where with me down at "Ft. Lostinthewoods". We had quite a few suicides and had to be a good 5+ attempted suicides a week. Recruiters are just scum of the earth in my opinion, they completely misrepresent EVERYTHING the Army is. I always thought great things about our armed forces but after my time in the Army, I would do everything possible to keep a loved one or even just a friend from joining.

Having been there and done that, I completely disagree with this. I have a guy that I am aquainted with who is a recruiter and I don't think he misinterprets anything to the young men/women he visits with. A person who is contemplating joining the armed forces needs to be very aware that the military is very different than civilian life in every way shape and form. I am sorry that you had a negative experience in the military, and sincerely hope that it didn't ruin you for life. As for the people who are attempting suicide, may God have mercy on them. Life is not that bad that you need to cash in the chips on your own.

schmitty wrote:

SLOWnSTEADY wrote:Although this seems to be meant as a "funny thing"... I have to agree you with you! I had NO idea what I was in for when I joined the army a few years back. Sadly, neither did many of the other young men/women who where with me down at "Ft. Lostinthewoods". We had quite a few suicides and had to be a good 5+ attempted suicides a week. Recruiters are just scum of the earth in my opinion, they completely misrepresent EVERYTHING the Army is. I always thought great things about our armed forces but after my time in the Army, I would do everything possible to keep a loved one or even just a friend from joining.

Having been there and done that, I completely disagree with this. I have a guy that I am aquainted with who is a recruiter and I don't think he misinterprets anything to the young men/women he visits with. A person who is contemplating joining the armed forces needs to be very aware that the military is very different than civilian life in every way shape and form. I am sorry that you had a negative experience in the military, and sincerely hope that it didn't ruin you for life. As for the people who are attempting suicide, may God have mercy on them. Life is not that bad that you need to cash in the chips on your own.

I agree, and I believe if a person drops out of school, or graduates, and don't go to college, he should have to spend two years in the military, I think I learned more in those four years about life, and how to cope, then I have any other time, had more fun, seen things, and places, that I will never see again, I agree, it wasn't always fun and games, but not once did I ever think of suiside, those people have more problems, than basic at Leonardwood, can cause.

schmitty wrote:

SLOWnSTEADY wrote:Although this seems to be meant as a "funny thing"... I have to agree you with you! I had NO idea what I was in for when I joined the army a few years back. Sadly, neither did many of the other young men/women who where with me down at "Ft. Lostinthewoods". We had quite a few suicides and had to be a good 5+ attempted suicides a week. Recruiters are just scum of the earth in my opinion, they completely misrepresent EVERYTHING the Army is. I always thought great things about our armed forces but after my time in the Army, I would do everything possible to keep a loved one or even just a friend from joining.

Having been there and done that, I completely disagree with this. I have a guy that I am aquainted with who is a recruiter and I don't think he misinterprets anything to the young men/women he visits with. A person who is contemplating joining the armed forces needs to be very aware that the military is very different than civilian life in every way shape and form. I am sorry that you had a negative experience in the military, and sincerely hope that it didn't ruin you for life. As for the people who are attempting suicide, may God have mercy on them. Life is not that bad that you need to cash in the chips on your own.

One thing that made me VERY sour toward the Army is the way they handled the attempted suicides and such. There was a guy in my barracks that on the first night was crying his eyes out literally begging for his mom. The entire next day was more of the same. The third night he attempted suicide and was found hanging in the bathroom by someone on fire watch. they cut him down, had him taken to the hospital and a few days later he was back. Still cried himself to sleep every night, got his ass kicked more than once by fellow soldiers etc... yet he stayed.

There are enough people that WANT to be in the armed forces bad enough that I don't feel they should force people to stay. I know there is a contract involved and everything like that but would you want to go into battle with someone that emotionally and mentally unstable? I know I wouldn't!! We had another guy literally slit his wrists all the way around like a bracelet, D.S. wrapped them up in a pair of socks really tight and put him on suicide watch. The fallowing morning he was seen by a doctor. Another kid scored an 11 (yes, that is correct! an 11) on his ASVAB and the recruiter twisted shit around somehow so that he got in. Two weeks into basic they discharged him (well, started the process which ended up taking about a month).

People just need to understand that NOTHING is guaranteed when you join the Army. I signed up as an M.P. and said I would ONLY join if I was guaranteed to be an M.P. I was then "guaranteed" by my recruiter and the SFC that was there as well. two weeks into basic they tell me I have unpaid fines at home and if I didn't get them taken care of by AIT that my m.o.s. would be changed from 31B (M.P.) to 88M (truck driver) or 92G (cook).

those people have more problems, than basic at Leonardwood, can cause.

One of my points exactly... However many of them where told "finish basic and go to Iraq/Afghanistan or spend the remainder of your contract in Fort Leavenworth". I know of at least one person that blew their head off the first time they handled a live weapon during BCT. Personally, I enjoyed it other than the usual missing my son and girlfriend but that was to be expected.

We had our share of people in BT that were completely unprepared for Army life, but that is what BT is for. DS's are not to blame here, the kids in question should have been a little more prepared and knowing what they were getting into. It is an irrevovable contract. I'm with you Harold, I wouldn't trade the time I had in the military either. I was in the Nebraska National Guard for 8 years and had a ball. We didn't go many places, but there were a lot of good guys there. My Platoon Sgt. was a Viet vet and just did two tours in Iraq/Afganistan. Tough old bird.

Larry Williams wrote:----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

As a former Marine, I laughed when I saw this

Good point about never seeing a wall with ropes attached.