Snow diary

Snow Shoveling Diary…




December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season!

The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!


December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.


December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?








Got to love winter !
Frank

LOL !!!! My wife drives the chase truck for the graders here. Her family does heavy equipment, and in the winter they push snow. When a grader comes by pushing a ton of snow, if you have cleared out your driveway, it is going in there. She says that people get SO FUCKING MAD at them.

When it snows, she gets mad because she has to work, and I sit home and drink beer.

cletus66 wrote:LOL !!!! My wife drives the chase truck for the graders here. Her family does heavy equipment, and in the winter they push snow. When a grader comes by pushing a ton of snow, if you have cleared out your driveway, it is going in there. She says that people get SO FUCKING MAD at them.

When it snows, she gets mad because she has to work, and I sit home and drink beer.

Thats some s *** right their!

OMG that's some funny sh!t, but boy can I relate

You getting much snow up there Frank? I can relate a little bit to that joke, except for the part about the snow plow coming by after I dig out. I am the snow plow most times for our road, we live about 25 miles from where the snow plows start that it might be a week before they get to my road. I keep the payloader plugged in and plenty of gas for the snow blower. Last winter we had several feet of snow here, and I've got a foot on the ground now and winter has just started.

Good one Frank

no thats some funny chit,,,,,,,,,RLMFAO

Good job Frank, some funny stuff right there.

Your right Mike I looked at the forcast more of the same. Shit won't be gone until June.

I love the snow but that was some shit there !!!! Laughed so hard thought I was gonna pass out !!!! Good one1


Dan

Great one Frank!! You would know about snow eh?

After driving through the crap all day I can relate too!! We are getting quite a bit here in Ontario this year.

Bill

Very Very Good Frank, lmffao , ya could make ya some Snow ice cream