A few simple laws.

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY


Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.


Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.


Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


Variation Law
If you change lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)..


Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will..


Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold..


Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it..


Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Very true!!

Another random number one:
I was doing a tune-up on a Chevy truck once and wrote the firing order down on my cigarette pack. Next day I get home and the ex is freekin out, "Who's number is this???" She phoned the number.....and a WOMAN answered!!! Wow, that took some explaining

Bill

Dang Bill that sounds like some real bad luck.

Yep, It didn't help that I was laughing. I couldn't believe that the number worked and that it was actually a woman that answered it!!

"Who's *&@#@^%$&#(@^$*$ number is this???"
"It's the firing order for a small block chevy . What else would it be??" And it went south from there....

Bill

Wow thats priceless, she must have been pretty "special".

Bill, i'd say working on the SBC was still worse than the explaining to the wife.

Diggindeeper wrote:Bill, i'd say working on the SBC was still worse than the explaining to the wife.

Yep, your right Brent. That POS had two spark plugs break off, fuel pump was shot, that stupid fuel pump push rod is a pain.

Ex's are ex's for a reason.

Bill

I did a reverse number look up of the number 1-843-6572 in Ontario Canada came up with this.

Flewelling, Randall
810 Wellington Rd

Fergus, ON

(519) 843-6572

Should call and say hey ....


Dan

Thats friggen funny!!

I could ask them if they've had any calls from some crazy b**ch lately!!

Bill

TRUKPULR wrote:I did a reverse number look up of the number 1-843-6572 in Ontario Canada came up with this.

Flewelling, Randall
810 Wellington Rd

Fergus, ON

(519) 843-6572

Should call and say hey ....


Dan

Fergus would be a nice place for you to visit Dan, They got the big Truck show there, and the SWOTPA/GLTPA truck pull.

Sad thing is i think you're closer to Fergus than i am.